Your Leadership Coach

The word for the week is "Gratitude.” I agree with William Arthur Ward, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”   It can certainly begin with a list, but the end result is action. During this season of Thanksgiving, compile a list of those in your life you will show gratitude over the next couple of weeks.   It can be people you love, colleagues, those who service you and don’t forget you! I express gratitude with action. #gratitude journal #grateful #thanksgiving

The phrase for the week is "Loving Yourself.” The most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself.   Loving yourself allows you to love others and be loving to them.   If I were to observe you for one week, what will I see, what will I hear, how will I feel?   What story will I tell about YOUR: ·          Worth ·          Values ·          Passions ·          Vulnerability ·          Spirit ·          Patience with yourself ·          Self-Respect ·          Gifts ·          Humor ·          Intuitive Side ·          Compassion I love myself with all my heart. #loveyourself #iloveme #loving

The word for the week is "Fixer.” If you ever feel the compulsion to “fix” someone, consider the consequence of failure for you and that someone. Fixers have this innate desire to rescue or help another person.   The problem is, the help comes in the form of “this is what you should be doing.”   They are self-righteous and have an obsessive need to correct or make the person perfect. Once the fixer has taken on the assignment (self-selected), an emotional attachment is created and the behavior can become oppressive, impeding the person’s growth. If you are a fixer, you know that the more you practice this behavior, the better you get at it.   Sometimes, the dependence created can wear thin for you over time.   But you soldier on, finding the next poor soul to fix.   You become vested in the outcome you envision and if things get worse, you get worse.   You rationalize that you’re doing good when in fact, the outcome isn’t about the other person, but about y

The word for the week is "Read” Reading something interesting each week for at least 15 minutes keeps you curious, which fuels innovation and creativity.   The health benefits are huge.   Studies have shown that staying mentally stimulated can slow the progress or possibly even prevent Alzheimer’s and Dementia, since keeping your brain active and engaged prevents it from losing power.   We often overlook the advantages of exercising our brain to keep it functioning at a high level.   It’s important to keep it strong and healthy.   As we get older, we watch a great deal more television.   And with our DVR’s, On Demand, Netflix and other services, we can binge watch for hours.   In addition to leading to more aggressive behavior, watching too much can reduce your level of intelligence, and make it difficult to concentrate.   In a recent study, it was found that if adults watched less than 2 hours a day and sat less than 3 hours a day, life expectancy in the US woul

The word for the week is "Interruptions.” Everything takes longer than expected and it’s usually because of unplanned interruptions.   It’s a fact that refocusing after an interruption takes valuable time and is unproductive. About twenty years ago, I began planning for interruptions.   Boy did it make my life easier.   I was less frustrated and overwhelmed because I added in time for interruptions on my things to-do list.   If I knew something would take me an hour to complete, I planned for two.   If by some miracle I wasn’t interrupted, I could move to the next item on the list. I also learned to handle interruptions without being too rude.   The t elephone is a great tool if used effectively.   Learn to interrupt politely—“how can I help you today?”   I’m so sorry, but I must get back to this project, can we schedule a time to talk later? Turn off the sound on your email account.   When focused on a task, I turn off the email until I’m done.   When the bore

The phrase for the week is "Stop, Prioritize, Act.” When clients or friends share they are feeling overwhelmed, I understand that it could stem from exhaustion, anxiety, worry or a feeling of helplessness. In my line of work as a consultant and executive coach, it is usually a 'things to-do list' that has gotten totally out of control.   There are countless reasons for a person to feel overwhelmed. One solution is to reframe what we tell ourselves.   Instead of saying, “I’ll never get all this done in time,” reframe the story to list all the things you know will get done.   Negative thoughts are just not helpful in this situation. Now is a good time to press the pause button and set two or three priorities for today, three for tomorrow and so on.   Taking deep breaths really help.   If you can’t jump into a yoga class, take a quick walk around the block, put on some relaxation music or just move to another location with something fun to read for 15 minutes.

The phrase for the week is "Don’t Forget What You Already Know.” How many times over the last year have you heard yourself saying? ·          I knew she would say that? ·          I knew that wouldn’t work but I thought I’d try it anyway? ·          I can’t believe they voted that down? Is it that we forgot what we already knew about the parties or situation?   Of course not, it’s much like retroactive interference.   That occurs when new information interferes with your ability to remember previously learned information.   It’s when you become so focused on your own idea that it’s like a lunar eclipse in your mind.   The only thing you can see is your idea and the outcome you envisioned. The solution to this affliction is to press the pause button and ask yourself, “What do I already know about this scenario and how can I best prepare for success?” I pause to remember what I already know.

The phrase for the week is "We Are What We Practice.” What patterns emerge in your behavior time and time again that you wish were different?   What if  you are chronically late, for example?    How do you change this behavior if you practicing being late everyday?--late to work, late to meetings, late to bed...   It creates stress, embarrassment and shapes your personal brand reputation.  Consider this process for changing this. You must first realize the consequences of any poor behavior.   If y ou’re in denial and haven’t acknowledged there is a real problem, ask those around you for feedback on the one thing you might change to enhance your personal brand.   Until you can acknowledge your role in the behavior and want to change, it will continue. Once you acknowledge there is a problem and you want to change it, you must interrupt the pattern in a dramatic way.   Let’s use the example of being chronically late.   To interrupt the pattern, you will replace it with

The word for the week is "Timeliness” Be on time.   Start on time.   End on time. A few observations on punctuality: ·          Demonstrates your level of self-respect and respect for others. ·          Provides a sneak peek into your organizational skills. ·          Your time management skills are on display. If a meeting starts at 9 a.m. and you walk into the meeting at 9 a.m.--you are late. I respect my time and the time of others.

The phrase for the week is "Meditation Works.” Begin the week by tapping into the spiritual you! The answers you seek will be revealed. Be open. What I like best about meditation is it can be like a mini vacation without leaving home.   Because you must focus and quiet your mind, you eventually reach a higher level of awareness and inner calm. I was surprised to learn that you can meditate anywhere and at any time.   I find it hard to meditate unless it is perfectly quiet, but others can meditate amidst utter chaos. There are countless techniques for meditating, find one that works for you and practice each day this week.  If you meditate regularly, consider taking your meditation to the next level and go deeper than you have in the past. I meditate with purpose to connect with all knowing voice within.

The phrase for the week is "Stand Firm.” Individuals with any measure of success are without question, engaged in some level of risk taking.   Not reckless risk, but strategic risk--supported by research, a strong network and faith.   For a business enterprise, these calculated risks result in increased market share, an innovative product design, and can distance the company further from their nearest competitor.   This week, identify a project, initiative or idea you’ve been considering.   Do the required research to support your position and the opposing points of view.   Be clear on how this can move the organization from point A to point B.   Be clear, be confident and stand firm. I do my research and I stand firm on my ideas and decisions.

The word for the week is "Communication” Communication is central to all aspects of life. It’s a critical skill for maintaining your personal as well as professional relationships. ·          Builds trust ·          Establishes credibility ·          Lays the foundation for great leadership Be aware of the nonverbal cues you receive when speaking your mind.   Silence does not automatically mean agreement. When communicating, ask don’t tell .   Being asked lights up “positive visioning areas” in the brain, associated with greater cognitive and perceptual openness.   Being told can activate “negative emotional attractor” areas of the brain, causing defensiveness. I communicate clearly and listen for clarity and understanding.

The phrase for the week is "Know When To Walk Away” You might be humming the Kenny Roger’s hit “The Gambler.”   It is so appropriate for this week’s affirmation.   We often hear, “hold on tight to your dreams,” “persevere,” “never give up.” It is so specific. So, if I let go of a dream, give up--am I a failure, a loser? How do we know when it may be time to sunset something that isn't working? When do you focus on what you've learned and move on? I’ve read a lot of self-help books over the years. Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud stayed with me for years and I’ve recommended it to countless friends and clients.   In it he states, “Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.” Wow!   I was so relieved to consider th

The phrase for the week is "Contingency Planning” When I was growing up in Chicago, I loved to play chess.   What I loved most about the game was trying to predict what moves my opponent might make and what I would do in response.   I’m too impatient for chess now, but I have used those skills throughout my career and am confident it has been the foundation for much of my planning success stories.   I call it contingency planning but the formal term is scenario planning. It is so much a part of how I approach my personal and professional life, I rarely realize I’ve engaged this tool.   In order for this level of planning to work, you must be committed to the amount of time it takes to sift through all the possible outcomes or scenarios.   Often, a person will only plan for the outcome they want and when things go awry, they are back to square one--researching, planning, etc.   Often there is a mourning period before they are able to regroup to begin again.   Meanwhile, I

The phrase for the week is "Be Open.” One doesn’t have to be in charge to help shape the environment for open and honest communication.   What kind of environment do you help to create? What is your body language saying when a colleague or friend comes up with an idea that you think is ridiculous? Do you roll your eyes and/or give that body language of “Oh my goodness, here we go again! Or, do you embrace these ideas and look for ways to nurture them and consider their merit? Bring a new perspective to your next meeting or gathering. Challenge your own assumptions.   Note how you are received and the impact you have. I am open to new perspectives and new ideas.

The phrase for the week is "Budget Your Time.” Much like you might establish a budget for your household, few people establish a budget for their time. In my coaching practice, I often hear, “I just don’t have enough time for this or that,” or, “I’m too overwhelmed to add one more thing,” or “I need more hours in each day.”   When I ask what is consuming most of their time, they are at a lost to be specific. This week, develop your own timesheet and record how you spend your time.   Keep a detailed accounting of your activities at work and home.   It is tedious work when you write everything down, but the payoff is tremendous.   The results may surprise you.   Once you’ve determined what is creating havoc on your good intentions, create an ideal allocation of your time and begin a plan to realize your ideal.   I record how I spend my time to inform and plan for the life I want.

The phrase for the week is "Get Enough Sleep” We all have read, heard or felt the benefits of getting a good night’s rest: ·          Better Health ·          Better Sex Life ·          Better Memory ·          Less Pain ·          Better Weight Control ·          Better Mood ·          Clearer Thinking I’ve been functioning on 4 to 5 hours sleep for years, and I can point to a host of friends and colleagues who have done the same.   As I get older, I can see and feel this bad habit must change.   The first thing I did was get into regular sleeping habits. I really try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. Even if I don’t go to sleep or wake early, I don’t turn on the TV or reach for my cell phone.   I’m trying to follow the experts’ advice and teach my body when it's supposed to be tired.  It's a work in progress ... I get 7 to 9 hours restful sleep each night. #sleephealth   #sleep   #sleepgoals

The phrase for the week is "Eliminate a Bad Habit” Before you slam yourself for having a bad habit you want to eliminate, consider first making a list of all your good habits.   Be ready to be amazed!   In an issue of O Magazine, Zoe Donaldson dispels some myths about habits and offered these facts: ·          Willpower is all in your mind.   You can control your self-controls to establish new routines.   ·          A University of Southern California study found that on average, it takes 66 days to establish new routines. The range was 18 to 254 days, so hang in there. ·          It’s never too late to adopt a healthier lifestyle.   No matter the age, there were significant benefits to report. Ok, now that all the excuses are out of the way, pick a habit that is limiting your forward progress. Habits like biting your nails are not acceptable.   Now, determine what good habit will replace the bad one.   If you want to quit smoking, what good habit will

The phrase for the week is "Play to Your Strengths” Don’t get me wrong, I understand the importance of feedback, but no one ever focuses on the good feedback, just the negative.   The term” plan for improvement” annoys me too.   We are hard-wired to focus on the negative.   Our brains respond so differently to compliments and praise.   It energizes us in a way improvement plans don’t. What inevitably happens is that the employee abandons their strengths to focus only on their weaknesses.   If the news is a surprise, they wonder, does everyone know I have this weakness and aren’t telling me?   Are they having secret meetings where this is discussed?   It’s like getting to the end of the day and finding out that you had spinach stuck in your front tooth all day. I’m not suggesting that you ignore negative feedback.   Not at all.   We can all grow and become better humans when we are made aware of our behaviors or work product that are not meeting the mark.   What I am su

The phrase for the week is "Prepare for the Inevitable” This week’s affirmation is for the optimist!  This blog is for the o ne who always expects the best in themselves and in the world. This is a chance to press the pause button and reflect on what’s to come and what, if anything we can do to prepare when it isn't a question of if, but when. The idea here is to make this personal. Develop a list this week of things in your life that are inevitable and that require you to have an action plan. Set deadline dates to outline your plan of action.   Here’s my partial list: ·          Retirement ·          Marriage of a child ·          Restricted mobility, due to bad knees ·          Death of a parent ·          Closing consulting practice I embrace the unknown,  I prepare for the inevitable.