The word for the week is "Fixer.”
If you ever feel the
compulsion to “fix” someone, consider the consequence of failure for you and
that someone.
Fixers have this innate
desire to rescue or help another person.
The problem is, the help comes in the form of “this is what you should
be doing.” They are self-righteous and
have an obsessive need to correct or make the person perfect.
Once the fixer has taken
on the assignment (self-selected), an emotional attachment is created and the
behavior can become oppressive, impeding the person’s growth.
If you are a fixer, you
know that the more you practice this behavior, the better you get at it. Sometimes, the dependence created can wear
thin for you over time. But you soldier
on, finding the next poor soul to fix.
You become vested in the outcome you envision and if things get worse,
you get worse. You rationalize that
you’re doing good when in fact, the outcome isn’t about the other person, but
about you feeling good and in control.
Unfortunately, the person being fixed feels totally out of control and
has become so dependent on you, they have lost the ability to do anything or
think for themselves.
There is a fix for the
fixer! Work with a coach or therapist to
work through a process to begin establishing healthy relationships.
I believe that others can accept personal responsibility for their own lives and actions.
#fixers #fixyoufirst
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